


when your eyes are red and emptiness is all you know

by lostmemoria



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Major Character Injury, Spoilers, Unbeta'ed, post 5x03, somewhat happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 03:38:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4289301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostmemoria/pseuds/lostmemoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s been at the hospital all night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when your eyes are red and emptiness is all you know

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whisperedwords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperedwords/gifts).



> i've been trying to write all week and i finally did! this fic is for phoebe, thanks for inspiring me with your fic darling. (which you should all check out, btw). 
> 
> title is taken from bleeding out by imagine dragons.

He’s been at the hospital all night. Sitting in one of the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room outside her room, his uniform shirt stained with her blood (the nurse asked him if he wanted a change in clothes but he politely declined), and he can’t help but keep staring down at his hands. The same hands that carried her body out of the station, the same hands that pressed down on her bloody wound and cradled her head as he whispered, _stay with me, Lydia, stay with me please_ over and over again until Kira finally reached the hospital and was screaming for someone to bring out a stretcher.

He’s been at the hospital all night and he’ll stay there for as long as he needs to until she wakes up.

Kira had been there with him for a while but her mom started calling her up, worried about where she was and whether she was okay, and Jordan insisted that she go home and that he would stay with Lydia. She was hesitant at first about it but maybe she saw the genuine worry in his eyes for Lydia or remembered how close the two have gotten over six months, and she nodded, telling him, “take care of her” and how to call her up when she finally wakes.

And now it’s just him alone.

“Parrish?”

He’s brought out of his thoughts when he hears his name and turns quickly, seeing Melissa standing next to him. He quickly stands up, facing her, and starts stammering, “What h-happened? I-Is Lydia okay, Ms. Mccall? Is she okay?” He can feel his heart beating rapidly out of his chest at just the various possible answers to his question that are rushing through his mind at the moment.

Because all he wants is for her to be okay.

Melissa bites her lower lip. “We’re not sure yet, deputy,” she tells him and then adds, “but what we do know is that she keeps saying your name...I..I think she needs you right now, Parrish.”

Hearing that, Jordan is already rushing past Melissa and heading towards Lydia’s room, and no one tries to stop him. (And even if they tried to, he wouldn’t let them).

As soon as he gets to her room, he stops frozen in his tracks when he sees her lying on the hospital bed, unconscious with various IV bags hooked up to her, her heart monitor beeping steadily. And he can’t help but feel guilty, guilty because that should be him on the bed, not her. He should have been there for her in the first place, to protect her. He should have been the one to get hurt by Tracy, not her. At least then, it would be him in pain, and maybe he would be able to heal from it as well.

But Lydia? Lydia can’t heal like him or Scott or Kira. She’s lying on that bed, fighting for her life and the thought makes him break as he slowly walks towards her.

“J...Jordan.” He hears her breathe deeply when he gets close enough, and he gently takes her hand in his and squeezes lightly.

“I’m here, Lydia...I’m here,” he whispers, and without hesitation he brings her hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against her knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere without you. You’re gonna be okay.” But despite saying those words, he can feel himself choking up as his eyes start to well up with tears. He tries to blink them away but there’s no use because they’re already falling down his cheeks. “C-can you hear me, Lyds..? Y-You’re gonna be okay.”

Jordan presses another kiss against her palm, the pad of his thumb stroking soothing circles into her wrist and all he feels right now, without her, is emptiness. A cold deep emptiness that only she can fill up with her smile, with her laugh, with her just being with him.

“Please wake up,” he says, not knowing if he’s saying it to her or to some higher deity. He’s not religious and the last time he remembers praying is back in his army days, where he was fighting for his life after a bomb explosion in the middle of a desert in Afghanistan with the temperature at nearly 115 degrees.

He’s never prayed again after that, but now, now he’s willing to pray for Lydia in a heartbeat if it means she’ll wake up. If it means he gets to see her blink those hazel eyes at him once more, to see her flash him a smile, to hear her warm laughter fill up the room like a sweet song.

“ _J-Jordan…_ ”

He feels her squeeze his hand suddenly and he immediately looks up and sees her eyes flutter open a little. He leans close to her, his hand going to cup her cheek gently. “Lydia..? Lydia, can you hear me..? Please, open your eyes.”

And as if his prayers were answered, she does. She takes a deep breath first, her chest inhaling and exhaling deeply before her hazel eyes finally flash open and she sees him.

“Oh, t-thank god,” Jordan says under his breath, relieved, as his hand strokes her hair away. “Thank god, you’re okay. I don’t know what I would have done if…” He stops and shakes his head against it, because all that matters right now is that she’s awake. And without thinking twice about it, Jordan leans in close  and presses a kiss against her forehead, hearing her inhale deeply again as she struggles to breath.

"Jordan...my mom...," her voice trails off.

He nods, his lips still lingering against the top of her head. "She's going to be okay, Lydia. She wasn't hurt. Just...unconscious."

"And...Tracy?"

He doesn't know how to answer that, since he hasn't heard anything back from Scott or the others yet. He pulls away gently and turns to look at her. "I don't know."

“J...Jordan...Your eyes…,” she suddenly mumbles instead, her voice barely reaching him. “They’re all red…”

At first, he thinks she means his eyes are glowing again, but then he realizes that it’s because he was crying. Crying because he thought he was going to lose her. “I...I’m sorry,” he mutters stupidly, rubbing his eyes and wiping away the dry tears.

Lydia lets go of his hand weakly and reaches up to touch his cheek softly. “Were...Were you crying..? Because...of me? I...I’ve never seen you cry before.”

And it’s true. All this time, he’s always been the composed one. The one to make sure everyone else is okay, the one to comfort the others after a bad situation, the one whose shoulder is always available to cry on. He doesn’t know what to say to her response, so he says the truth. “Because I thought I was going to lose you. I was so scared...I..I didn’t know what I would do if...if...you didn’t get up, I—”

“Shhh,” she whispers, not letting him finish. “I’m okay, Jordan. I...I’m okay. Because of you...I’m okay.”

Jordan shakes his head, guiltily looking down and avoiding her gaze. “I should have been there, Lydia. I wouldn’t have let you get hurt, I would have protected you with my life if I had to. It should be me on this hospital bed, Lyds, not you….I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there with you.”

“But...you’re here with me now. Aren’t you?” She strokes his cheek gently but he still doesn’t look up. “L-Look at me, Jordan…,” she tells him, and that’s when he finally glances up at her, meeting her gaze and he sees the softest smile on her face, and it awes him. Awes him how despite everything she just went through, she still manages to smile. “You’re here with me, and that’s all that matters….” He can hear her starting to lose her voice as she breathes deeply again, her eyelids fluttering close from the weakness of her body even though she desperately tries to keep them open. “....that’s all that matters...to me...right now…that you’re here.”

Jordan doesn’t answer her and instead gently brings her hand down from his cheek, holding it once more in both his hands. “And all that matters to me right now is that you get better. So please, Lydia, get some rest.”

He half expects her to argue, but because of her condition and because of the pain killers the doctors gave her, she nods weakly and then asks faintly, “Will you stay with me…?”

Her request makes him smile slightly as he nods, giving her hand another brief squeeze.  “Always.”

(And as she lulls off to sleep once more, Jordan doesn’t feel empty anymore because he knows that when she wakes up again, she’s going to be okay.)

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://lydiasdeputy.tumblr.com)   
> 


End file.
